How To Deal With Problem People | Channeling Kris
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People Problems

How To Deal With Problem People

Transcribed by Marcy Singer
Recorded in Toronto, Canada on September 8, 2003

KRIS: We do thank you and we welcome our new friend. We hope that you will feel comfortable and we will ask all of you to speak later on. So you will have your chance to ask any questions.

Your previous inquiry is one that has much merit, as most people who work in a modern office environment of almost any kind in almost any commerce or venture are bound to be surrounded by coworkers, and therefore have to deal with a number of people on a daily basis. This means that you have to deal also from time to time with the personal issues that issue forth from their private lives into their careers or professional environments, often affecting their coworkers. 

That is an unavoidable situation in your modern times, and indeed it can be perplexing when you consider that many people bring their home lives and their home struggles into the professional environments. And it is to be anticipated to a certain degree since you are all human beings. And though you might put on your best professional or career personality, sometimes the boundaries become muddled and the personal issues flow over into the work environment and others, sometimes, get the blunt end of the axe. Correct?

Now, of course, you cannot go up to each such individual and give them a good verbal dressing down and demand that they better coordinate the boundaries of their personal and professional lives, because then you might get the sharp edge of the axe.

What is one to do? Do you organize a secret meeting and then ambush the said individual? You also cannot push them out the window, nor can you demand that they do not bring such issues to the office unless you are in a supervisory position and take some action at that level.

You know, therefore, that something else must be done. And because you are learning about your own personal creative potentials, you might reflect a moment and comprehend that all of the events….ALL of the events….that occur: the external field of activities as you perceive them through your physical senses, are to one degree or another a reflection of the activity, the action, of the inner field of events. This inner field of events is what you commonly call your inner realities. The realm of the mind: that vague psychological dimension where your thoughts your imaginings, your convictions, your attitudes all converge to then create the events and circumstances as they occur in the external field of events. That is, the events and the circumstance and the conditions of your life!

These individuals that bug you, that perturb you, that may cause you some degree of stress of another are a reflection of some of the areas of your convictions that you have yet to come to terms with. They represent, in other words, certain aspects of your own self that may not be consciously acknowledged or recognized in this moment. And thus whether you call this the unconscious, the psyche, the inner self, makes some concerted effort to bring these inner conditions or situations to the attention of your conscious mind, via the attributes and the conditions of the external events that occur in your life. Do you follow that? Does that make sense to you?

– Yes.

Now then, if you encounter someone who is utterly mean, you know the one, often referred to as the office jerk or the office bitch, does it mean that you are mean as well and that you do not acknowledge that? Indeed, not necessarily. That individual may grate specific nerves, so to speak, very specific areas of your personality will respond to the proddings of that individual’s behavior, and it may be a genuine attempt to bring to your conscious attention that there are other situations in your present life that you are not addressing, dealing with properly.

For instance, some people do respond negatively to the authority figure in an office, whether it be the supervisor, the manager; regardless of how nice such an individual may be, or how understanding and compassionate. They never seem to be able to see those qualities but instead project onto ‘that’ individual their own personal issues concerning authority figures.

Perhaps said individual had many problems growing up, perhaps with an overbearing parent figure or perhaps did things as a youth that attracted the attention of the law, police officers, for example only. And now any individual that is in a position of authority may be a threat to that individual and his or her sense of freedom and expression, so that manager or supervisor may take on characteristics that are not truly theirs but are projected upon them by the individuals who are working out specific difficult challenges concerning an authority figure, and even going to another wok environment will not clean up the behavior until a certain degree of introspection and a coming to terms with those inner beliefs and values concerning authority which may feel threatening to them. Thus the manager or supervisor may be a thoroughly fine individual, but the one doing the projection has specific issues that need to be worked out.

The same projection is indeed very complex, but well worth spending the time in introspection and revising those specific convictions that you hold and thus project and expect in terms of behavior by others. So the idea would not be to bash them or yourselves over the head but to understand that you may have some small issue with specific aspects of their personality because it grates upon certain aspects of YOUR personality, meaning that there is a degree of projection on those issues. Do you understand?

It is also much easier to work this way because most other ways usually only end up in many degrees of frustration because then you have exchanges of ‘blame’ and ‘victim-hood’. By utilizing the approach we have suggested, your own challenges will be resolved to one degree or another, thus the energy that you are projecting is no longer being used in that fashion, but instead used to open more creative and energetic patterns by which you can grow as a personality, better utilize your construction within reality. Thus you feed them no more, and in return you not feeding them negativity to one degree or another, you can only then feed them inner well-being and goodness.

By opening yourselves up to other areas to the self that bring a natural state of balance and harmony in your personal lives, you project the same condition onto others, therefore they must respond in kind. Most individuals are concerned and fearful of projecting their own negativity onto others and that often remains the focus that they hold, which in itself is not very clear nor helpful.

Thus if you begin to project the same joy and loving abandon that you experience on a daily basis, then those around you must also give you back what you project. Does that make some sense?

As we have suggested in the past, an inner reflection upon joy, even if no more than for five minutes in the morning can tip the scale radically into depths of joy and well-being, which can be literally spread around in all directions, so that whoever you come in contact with may feel some of that joy, even if they do not know why they might suddenly feel a bit more enjoyment about the day or there is a little more bounce in their footstep or suddenly they are prone to smile.

AUDIENCE: It’s catching!

KRIS: Fortunately, that is one kind of ‘epidemic’ you are HIGHLY encouraged to develop, to cultivate, and to be filled with. Most of you worry about spreading negativity, germs, bacteria, problems, illnesses; but you do not seem so concerned, or at least not unduly, about spreading around a different type of virus, one of sheer joy, the enjoyment of being alive, of reveling in your senses, your creature-hood, enjoying your moment here, moment to moment. Many of your species would rather spread despair, which is not a good recipe.

Instead, if you concerned yourself with celebrating your joyous interactions with physical life, your many problems would disappear. If you concerned yourselves as a species with spreading joy, then guaranteed, most of you would stop producing weapons of mass destruction and instead you would create, for lack of a better term, weapons of massive enjoyment.

You would make it your business to be infectious; you would infect others with laughter, with a smile, with goodness. You seem as a species to be already convinced that the smiles that you can create on your faces have very little effect but a frown could wipe off your entire day. So you give power, YOUR power away far too easily to negative situations, without realizing that life itself has no negatives and positive, that it simply is a reflection of your attitudes, expectations, and convictions, and if your convictions are such that you are happy, you are a joyous being and a joy filled one, then you can expect that to show itself in every little corner of the day.

Now we do not wish to hog the entire evening, so we will give you a small break. Then if you are lucky it will be more than four minutes.

BREAK – Unrecorded discussions.

KRIS: Now we are getting to the meat. In some similar area, we are still feeling a degree of discomfort in observing the other in their predicament. Correct? So to some degree, that or those individuals are still portraying certain aspects within you that may not be as resolved as you might like to think. This is not necessarily to mean that you have problems. It may indicate that there is an area in your own mind so to speak, that could be organized and perceived in a different manner.

Here is what I mean: The individual that is playing the role of, we will simply call it the incompetent, may not yet have the resources needed or necessary to accomplish a smooth transition from the state of incompetency or simply lack of better management resources into a position where they can better handle their mental constructions. Does that help so far? (– Yes). They might feel they do not have the proper understanding, resources, and tools needed to accomplish the task at hand, and they might deny this as well.

Now, let us say for instance it is someone you know and you perceive these things and you also know it is not your position to go up to them, put your finger in their nose and say: “Hey listen” because that would cause more problems. Correct?

Now then, what is it that you might be able to do to help such an individual, without stepping into the scenario, and be pushed away for that act as if you are stepping where you do not belong!

First of all, a good method would be for you to understand that you have the ability not only to change your situation, your perception but as a direct result of that change within you, you would mentally and telepathically encourage that individual to make use of tools and resources that are within his or her personality in one form or another, or get those tools and resources to accomplish the task at hand, and this is done by changing your perspective of them.

The personality traits that that individual shows you have in some respect to match to some degree what you expect of them. This may get a little bit more complex because they are also projecting upon YOU as much as you might be projecting upon them. When you understand the game, so to speak, when you understand the play it is easier to step aside and handle it from your end, giving the other individual then, the POTENTIAL to alter their definition of themselves. All individuals in your world define themselves according to the perceptions of others to a large degree because you cannot help not reflecting, not projecting. You either project what you call the negative or positive states. Positive states encourage others to open up, to spread their wings. Negative projections keep you and the other locked in a stalemate. Do you understand?

So by working on the resolution within you and then projecting positive mental constructions, you give the other the opportunity to latch onto the same openness of spirit, the same resources that have enabled you to experience a more positive and grounded approach, and therefore they may and will interpret that into their own personality traits, altering whom and what they are.

That is possibly the best that you can do if you are limited in the manner in which you can approach it. Change the reality from within you to enable the other the tools to make a change. Does that make sense?

Do not forget that you live in an ocean of thoughts. You are first and foremost telepathic beings and … never mind the Hollywood version of telepathy! You are even free to experiment and test your own telepathic potential at any time you so wish and you will see that it actually works far better than you could possibly anticipate. Your thoughts, therefore, literally create a unique version of an individual, and not the individual himself or herself. You interpret the individual through your convictions and your projections, therefore. The more you project the positive joyous, life enriching situation the more the other is then able to display and project the same. You need not worry, you will not all turn into California tree huggers, though you might be prone once in awhile to hug “A” tree. But you at least get the picture.

You are never at the mercy of another unless you keep bouncing back and forth amongst your constant negative states. Then it matters little who is at the mercy of whom, you are all acting by default into negative states. By understanding that your thoughts, your mental constructions become your physical constructions, both at the level of matter or psychological states, then you have truly made headway into understanding what is the nature of reality and existence.

What is the purpose of life? You are here to construct, and it matters not what you construct. You will always construct. What IS important is: are you able to transform energy, consciousness from that raw element of life and using that material construct positive and joyous situations that enable each and every one in your environment, to enjoy and enhance his or her life condition?? Or do you construct from the raw matter of consciousness, situations where you and others become so embittered with life that you fall into states of despair? Either way, you are constructing. But one of these ways is more advantageous. Do you understand?

Thus by understanding that small place from within you, you can alter your perceptions of one individual you can also alter the perceptions of the entire universe. Because that it is your universe, and that is your universe, and that is your universe (pointing to different people in the room). So you do not need to change another individual or his or her universe. Change yours. Does that answer your question? And we are certain that it leads to many more questions. But if you like we will give you a small break.


KRIS: Your question is also highly important really, because you need to understand that you never create or construct a situation, ever, without an agreement, and engagement with yourself and other or many others, even if that engagement is not conscious at this time for the reason you have chosen to hide it from yourself. There are no accidents as such, nor are there coincidences, but instead cascading series of synchronicities.

You live in a telepathic universe as we suggested a very short while ago, where you are constantly psychically or psychologically in touch with the other individuals who will share the events and the conditions of your day-to-day activities, whether it is in the dream state or in other states of consciousness you make your engagements.

Thus two people may come together or ten or a hundred and they do so with a set purpose, with reasons, even if they do not consciously know the reasons, they still come together for purposes that may be unknown at that moment. Two people may come together because they need to work out a challenge or an issue that may not have been satisfactorily resolved from another lifetime where conditions may not have permitted as good a resolution as this time will bring. So they may come together with deep issues to bring recognition, understanding, and resolution. Ten people may come for the same reasons or a hundred may come for the same reasons, but you must always know that all of your actions are undertaken for reasons you might not initially be aware of.

There are other people that you have earlier described to our friend Joseph here, who may seem to take and take and take, forcing you it seems, to give and give and give. And all you may be getting in return is a request for more and more and more. Correct?

Now it is possible that such individuals may come into your life so that you eventually get the idea that it is a fine and good thing to give, and it is also a good thing to stop giving, that you can also know when to draw the line so that you develop a stronger sense of dignity for yourself.

Now that leads to another issue that you deal with often. You have good resources, good intentions, but you are afraid of yourself. You are afraid of the power and energy that is within you. However, you understand that you need to recognize that even if someone else thinks it is not so nice of you to say no, you are on much higher ground if you CAN say no. Otherwise, others will keep taking and taking and taking and you will have nothing left. Do you understand that?

Once you get there and you make the connection yourself, you will experience a change in the way you respond to your own self, both spiritual and biological because the two are stitched together, so to speak. You, all of you, are wrapped into, you are weaved into the very fabric of the atoms and the molecules and the cells that compose your flesh and your bones. You are simply consciousness that appears as form. And though you are much different from your forms, your forms, your bodies are an integral expression of those aspects of your being that are not visible. They too, your bodies, are projections of the constructions that you have made of yourselves. Do you understand?

So treat them, your bodies, not as lowly things, or as impediments to your spiritual growth but instead as the very instrument through which the spiritual growth can express itself.

There are millions of cells in your bodies, and there is enough energy in one of your cells to shine brighter than a hundred suns. And there are millions of cells in your body and you still insist that your bodies are keeping from being more spiritual. Nothing could be further from the truth. You are more spiritual because you can express it through your body. You do not have to pretend to be anything other than yourselves. That is when you are being spiritual when you are enjoying your flesh, your body; you are reveling in its abilities to transform energy into living situations.

So we believe then that this should be enough for tonight for you are so bright (general laughter); unless you have another question.

Keep in mind that the senses give you one interpretation of reality. They do not show you the entire picture but only that picture they can faithfully interpret for you. When you believe that their interpretation is ALL that there is about reality, then you are visibly swallowing a lie because your eyes, for instance, tell you that within the four walls of this room there is empty space and you believe your eyes. But if you did not believe your eyes for a moment you might “see” that this room is filled with consciousness. It is actually overflowing with mental constructions from your selves and from millions of other beings!

So if you play with those concepts and you understand the principle of projection even to a small degree, you will catch glimpses of other realities that you did not think existed because your senses, your eyes, said there was nothing there. You are accustomed to thinking that because you have one physical brain you must, therefore, have one nonphysical mind, and some of you in this world actually think that the brain and the mind are the same thing. Thus when it comes to the time of death you literally defecate because it scares, as the Scots say, the ‘shite’ out of you (general laughter). If you were to understand that even though you have one brain you are not limited to one mind you have many minds, that will give you a clue as to the many different constructions that you can project upon the world. Does that make sense to you?

So there are no questions for the time being. Then enjoy your many minds through your one brain and understand that your physical bodies are far more important than you ever suspected. Do enjoy your physical beings and that way you know you are being more spiritual. And we wish you a pleasant week

About the Author Serge Grandbois

Serge Joseph Grandbois channels Kris, a compassionate and intelligent non-physical entity, or Energy Personality Gestalt (as Kris describes themselves). Serge is one of the clearest vessels for non-physical communication in the world today. He has given voice to Kris for nearly 35 years, helping people from all walks of life.

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